Cupcakes are a lot like sex. One is a delicious single serving bakery treat covered in icing, and made in paper cups, and the other is an act of stimulating procreation that doesn't have anything to do with cake, or baking or even icing.... most of the time anyway.
Wait, I'm starting over.
Cupcakes are like....Life. Before we're born we're liquid batter, in most cases, vanilla batter. (If you have anything but vanilla batter seek medical attention immediately!) Unfortunately (or fortunately depending how you look at it, I don't want predators after my batter that for damn sure) from what I hear, we aren't nearly as tasty as batter, but on the plus side, that means it isn't often people eat so much of us that they get tummy aches (except in Japan, I hear it happens a lot there. I heard the word for tummy ache is bukkake in Japanese, but I'm not an expert).
Step two, just like cupcakes, is that we get put in an oven and rise into delicious round treats, hence the saying "got a bun in the oven" except we aren't buns, we’re cupcakes, or a baby.
Then, when you get hot enough, and sit long enough people stick forks in you and when you stop leaving residue on them, they take you out of the oven. I think that’s how it works anyways; I got a D- in "health" and "not being mentally retarded".
If you happen to be "taken out of the oven" in a restaurant, they put candles in you and give you away for free. This is what we call "orphans".
Annnnnnnnd I just stepped WAY over the line. Are we done here? I think we are.
If you laughed at that joke and feel you need to redeem your conscience please visit this website to learn more about how you can help make the lives of "those poor restaurant cupcakes" better.
1 comment:
Well that was definetly interesting. Especially the part about sticking a fork in, and not leaving residue, at which point they take you out. If that's how it happens, count me OUT. Ha ha.
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