Sitting at Don Cherries in Sarnia, enjoying a very very below average meal, which thankfully was accompanied by average wine that was very very cold. In walks one of what I can describe only as a good old boy. Gruff, blue collar, with a face that looked like it was nearing retirement, but probably wasn't.
He sits, and mulls over the paper for a while, until his friends, a couple more good ol' boys, swagger in and plop down hard with some exaggerated, and what I can only imagine were very firm, handshakes and hellos.
They seemed to be settling in for a stereotypical boys night out: A few beers while watching the hockey game that was playing on all the screens. All of them except the one in my little booth. I was watching, here it comes, Everybody loves Raymond, HA! No, that's a lie. I actually I had the Raps on, for a few minutes, until my food came, then I focused on the wine, and the old boys conversation.
They began to rhyme off their drinks, One had a coffee, the other had a milk, and the other one, well he just settled in for a hot cup of tea. Since my first judgement of the book by it's cover proved totally incorrect, I went with the next available option. I sensed a southern drawl from one of them. No drinking? Southern Drawl? Had to be Christ freaks...
That lasted about 4 seconds until they started talking about "boys at work dickin'" which I can only assume meant people being lazy by the gist of the rest of the conversation..... At least I hope that's what they meant. Their waitress gets back and interrupts all their fun talking aboutdickin boys and such, and takes their orders.
They all got 6 oz. new yorkers and fries with gravy.. no surprises there, at least that didn't interfere with my ability to judge them... Except what I just said a total fucking lie and they all got salads with dressing on the side! These were burly muthafuckers here, I donno how long they've been eating salads with f'n dressing on the f'n side, but they need to try something else, cause that's shit wasn't working!
I was just downright confused and flustered by that point, and I'm not blaming the 4 glasses of wine I had either. Damn people and their making me questions my stereotypes,what are they thinking!? Then they started up again, talking about, "Boom Boomin' down to fuckin' London, and fuckin boom boomin down ta Guelph and boom boomin all the way back up through" I'm going out on a limb and thinking that "boom boomin" meant hauling loads, aka driving a transport truck. That is what I HOPE it meant.
All the talk about Dickin' boys and Boom Boomin' and at least 4 glasses of the vino had my mind running a little wild I'll admit, I just wasn't sure what to think. Then the best part happens, the three dudes start totally making out, in the middle of Don Fuckin' Cherries, and no one even pays attention to them. It's like this happens all the time here in Sarnia, as it is so very known to be very liberal and pro gay rights, just like no one in Sarnia listens to country or works in the oil or chemical industries.
Okay, that whole part about the making out was a lie, I left before that happened, but honestly, tea, milk and salads with side dressing, three hyperbole macho men, in Don Cherries sports grill? I don't think it's possible they DIDN'T make out. That was the next logical step in that twilight zone of a scene.
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