At work, we are different people. We tend to be more patient, more polite, more anal and in general, a whole lot less fun. For many of us, the moment we walk through the front door of our jobs, ever single ounce of common sense flees us like a greased up pig from a hillbilly with a hardon. For those who retain their common sense, laziness has a way of crushing them as if it were one of those ridiculously fat girls with the skinny boyfriends, that one drunken night she decided to crawl on top and passed out.
For the very few others I like to call, Me, well I'm perfect so fuck off while I criticize.
Anyhow I digress from my point, which I didn't even actually get to before drifting off on to some fantasy land filled with bad Similes and analogies. The point being, we should all be allowed to physically and verbally smash people at work sans consequence.
Imagine how great your job would be if when presented with a stupid person or questions, or a lazy fucker, you could treat them with the same love and respect you do your friends whenever they slip up. By "love and respect" I mean jumping on them immediately and ridiculing them for no less than 20 minutes until they want to cry, then ridiculing them for being a pussy.
I'll try and paint a picture for you: There's a meeting between Bush and Kim Jong, and Kim is all like "Bush, I'm totally testing some Mucular Nissiles tomorrow." trying to sound all serious.
Bush counters: "Mucular Nissiles, what's that Kim?, a new type of nasal spray you four eyed little midget bastard? HAHAHAH Mucular, you girls name having motherfucker!
Kim (All flustered) "Girls name!?, I'd rather have a girls name, than be named after private parts of unshaven women!" (See Kim doesn't like to say vagina, or any other word that refers to vagina, because it makes his little willy feel funny).
Bush "Just say it, I'm named after hairy pussy, common Kim, SAY PUSSY"
Kim:(looking like he's going to cry) "Stop it, stop saying that!, you know I hate that George!"
Bush: "AAAHHH hahahaha now who's the pussy, you little mammas boy, you wanna wowwy Pop?" ahem.. And um so on, so forth.. Obviously it would solve everything.
Frankly, if that's not the way to advance all business and even political relations then I guess there's only one thing left, and that is to smash like my good friend "The Hulk" Above... Or perhaps, just get so damn smashed you look like red lobster, like Halk, below.
Even if that write-up wasn't funny, this pic is enough to make up for it, ohh man.... Golden.. I know, no relation to what's above, but amusing no?
No comments:
Post a Comment