‘Twas Friday night, and the air was hot.
So patio drinks the boys did got.
With Shots of Jager, We got on our stagger
And many more beers after that.
And many old acquaintances from Fergus abound,
We reminisced and caught up and generally got down.
With great conversations, and forcing Arnman drunk
We knew he’d be late, but we was getting “crunk”
So last call came, and went, and we stood up to go
Got 50 feet down the road and came across two dumb hoes
They somehow imagined we were talking to them,
It was so obvious we weren’t we told them again
But one girl persisted, and so we gently asked
What the “FUCK is your PROBLEM” And she let out a gasp.
And she raged and she screamed like a crazy fucking bitch
And her friend tried to stop her, but ended up doing this:
And I laughed for a moment, but the other one screamed
“I’ll fucking Kill you” and she came running at Arny
Arnman faked to the left and spun to the right,
Crackho lost her balance and went down hard, What a sight!
And then I had time, to reminisce about it all
That drunken slut didn’t even reach out to break her fall
Man she must be hurting like hell this morning still
Lesson learned: If you can’t take the drink, stall outa the swill
And the cops they were laughing, and got out of their truck.
So the fucking nuts bitches took off like scared ducks.
And we kept on walking, stunned as can be.
Thinking out loud how much more fucked could that be?
And so now as I think back about that girl eating sidewalk,
I almost piss laughing so hard I can’t talk.
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6 comments:
hahahaha! you're brilliant philip! stupid anorexic psycho bitches never mix well with the hootch :) please always do reinactment videos from now on!
Well, you were right on up untill the anorexic part. They were both pretty chunky von fatstuffs. And that makes it even worse....
I really enjoy your blog, but I don't like this entry vert much. The use of
mysogynist terms such as hoe, bitch, slut, etc. don't really make you a
worthy protagonist to this story. Judging based on the general attitude
towards women that these words imply, these drunken scrappers may have had
something legitimate to be angry about. Of course your decision to
respond to them by saying "what the fuck is your problem" probably fueled
their anger as well. I realize this was all written in good fun, but I'm
not laughing. Sure, these ladies couldn't hold their liquor, but the vids
and photos on this blog suggest you and your posse aren't in total control when
you've had a few too many pints either.
Rise above, take the high road,
and maybe you'll have a story worth telling next time.
When I talk about someone, my words are directed at them, not a general population. You're misguided assumptions about my views towards women in general are far more insulting than me calling some crazy bitch a bitch.
When I'm an asshole, I expect to be called one, you make your bed, you sleep in it.
I'm sure they DID have something to be angry about, however, that something had nothing at all to do with us. You defending these girls is basically the same as saying it's okay to beat up your wife after a bad day at work. I'm going to go ahead and assume. We didn't "ask for it" anymore than battered women do.
Ohh and you're right, I'm not always in control, but I'm also never totally out of it either, like those two were. I float in that oh so wonderful land of carefree partying and living it up, every chance I get.
Thanks for the whole high road thing, but when preaching, show some originality, cliches are lame.
Plus, I prefer the low down dirty roads anyhow. More Ho's on em.
Booyah.
I can't believe you are comparing yourself to a battered woman. I agree, violence is violence, but there is a huge difference between spousal abuse and a bar room scuffle.
I never made a statement about your views on women, I only explained that the use of mysogynist language imply a certain view. I was very careful about how I worded that, so you have no basis for your claims that I am making personal assumptions about you.
As for your comment about my use of the phrase "high road", take a look at the first paragraph of your response. You used an even more lame cliche yourself - and you even got it wrong!
I wasn't comparing myself with a battered woman, I was comparing you to the person doing the battering, and justifying it by saying, "they asked for it” Which you don't say in those words, but you do imply, twice.
There is basis for claiming this was directed at me in fact. It happens to be 1 of the 2 times I mentioned above.
Is it not obvious I'm a deliberate hypocrite at times, just read the end of my last post. It's funny, hence my use of a cliché.
Lighten up, laugh some more, that’s what its all about. Though you might be hopeless if you don't find the video on this post funny, because it's fucking hilarity.
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